Right Words Wrongly Said

I consider 22 to be the year that I came to faith with any sincerity, and throughout my Christian life I have defended my position (and made my position known) through the use of many words. I have been in “debates” that if I look back with any honesty would have to be considered arguments, and throughout these arguments my will often served as my top priority. In hindsight it was not God’s Kingdom I was defending, it was my pride. I wanted my reasoning to be seen as superior; I wanted my beliefs to be viewed as truth; I wanted to part ways in victory using well crafted words as my weapon. In the situations where I left as victor my pride would expand and I would consider it a victory for the Kingdom - blinded by zeal. In the situations where I left defeated, my confidence would suffer and my pride would be wounded. This wounded pride could have been a good thing, but in this weakened state I would regain strength, sharpen my intellect and my words, and fight another fight. More often then not my heart would turn from those who presented opposite thought and my abilities would be directed to defend my stance and defeat theirs. How could I be so foolish? I’m sure I am still blinded by such zeal. Hopefully, (and I pray) I’m beginning to see a small ray of light through this mighty wall of zeal.

I’m beginning to see the value in silence, in choosing to remain quiet in situations where my tongue once ran rampant; understanding that well crafted arguments do very little to benefit God’s Kingdom, and knowing that they can even cause harm when they’re approached in the manner mentioned above. If our words are not spoken out of love and humility they can cause harm because the Holy Spirit is never separate from these, and to speak of God in an attitude that is separate from the Spirit is the source of alot that's wrong with our mainstream christian culture. Even if what is being said is true, great care is needed because spiritual wounds are wounds of the deepest sort.

I’m starting to believe that when it comes to my opinions it is better to be asked, because only then is someone truly receptive to what I have to offer. There are many situations that require great discernment for a good response – discernment well beyond my capacity. I don’t know how to best invoke spiritual conversation with non-believers. I’m starting to believe that a genuine friendship with sincere love (with no other agenda) will produce a situation where somebody wants to know my beliefs. When this happens, I pray that I’ll be able to communicate the hope and joy within me through the Spirit of love and humility.

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The Christian faith uses words – but the force of the words is found in the reality from which they are spoken. A single word from a saint can bring a sinner to repentance. The most correctly stated argument from an unbelieving life may have little effect, none at all, or even be deleterious to those who hear it.
~ Father Stephen

Battlefield of Salvation

"Since the kingdom of God is within us (c.f. Lk. 17:21), the heart is the battlefield of our salvation, and all ascetic effort is aimed at cleansing it of all filthiness, and preserving it pure before the Lord. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life”, exhorts Solomon, the wise king of Israel (Pr. 4:23). These paths of life pass through man’s heart, and therefore the unquenchable desire of all who ceaselessly seek the Face of the living God is that their heart, once deadened by sin, may be rekindled by His grace."

~ Archimandrite Zacharias

I intend to pray, but dropping to my knees requires the force of a thousand boulders weighing upon my shouders.
I intend to focus, but to slow my mind requires the strength of a mighty dam holding my thoughts.
I intend for scilence, but worry screams relentlessly in its place.
I intend to stay, but my habit is to leave.

Lenten Prayer

I praise the Godhead, unity in three persons,

For the Father is light,

The Son is light,

And the Spirit is light.

But the light remains undivided,

Shining forth in oneness of nature,

Yet in the three rays of the persons.

Patriarch Pavle on Prayer

Prayer is the pious direction of man’s soul to God, or the communication of the heart with God, through which God is represented before man as man pours the feelings of his soul before Him. It is the lifting of the mind and the heart to God and with it man is carried to the angelic choir and becomes a member of their blessedness. Prayer is the incense most acceptable to God, that most secure bridge for the passage over the tempting waves of life, the indestructible stone of all who believe, the peaceful landing place, the divine garment which clothes the soul with great goodness and beauty.
~ Patriarch Pavle

The goodness of God shines upon all as sunlight shines upon everything.
No bad thing comes from God - no harm comes from God.
The Holy Trinity radiates perfect love, nothing less.
Sin as cancer infects hearts, distorting our view of God as a shattered mirror distorts it's reflection.
The measure of Divine goodness redeems even sin - as teaching and healing which produces strength that yields confidence for those who seek it.

Thoughts on Scripture

I'm going to begin this post by saying that I love my Protestant herratage. I am currently a Protestant christian. I live within a Protestant family. The church I attend, again Protestant, is a wonderful place and is largely to blame for sparking my interest in Christian communities who place a high value in Church History. I love my church with my whole heart, but this spark is catching aflame. I have alot of questions that surround me, writing has proven to be good medicine although far from a cure.

Picking up on the thought from a previous post: I believe the Bible to be the full revalation of God Who is beyond our comprehension, but the endless interpretations of the Bible makes me wonder about the appropriate use of Scripture. I'm beginning to question weather or not it's a good thing that anyone can start a church by reading scripture - pull from it what they will - then teach the masses based on what they see as individuals (very often with no heiarchy). Are my able to place myself within a Christian tradition where this is it's foundation? I can't help but think that this must be the reason why there is so much confusion within Chrisianity. Who can say with any authority what the truth is on important matters of Church docterine? Is it predestination or free will? Once saved always saved or persiverence of the Saints? Does the Holy Spirit really manafest Himself on Sunday mornings like He does in our "Spirit Filled" churches? Am I sinning and seperating myself from God for enjoying a glass of beer? What would anyone who answers yes these questions use as their justification - our most Holy Scriptures. What would anyone who argues against those who answered yes to these questions use as their justification - our most Holy Scriptures. Put these two parties into a conversation to discuss these issues, each would point to the same source and leave saying the other is wrong - divided. Should not our Heavenly Father's Holy Scriptures be read in the light of what has been revealed to His Church?

I expect that what follows below would not be the easiest thing for many people to read, but perhaps thought provoking. I can at least appreciate the carefulness in which Scripture is approached. I hope that our Christian leaders understand that teaching from the Bible is the heaviest position on earth.

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Holy Scripture is like a very deep well wherein is comprised the infinite wisdom of God. If someone thirsty dives into this well to drink of all its water, he will be drowned within. If, however, he will fetch the water with a bucket and from there will drink with a cup, then there is no fear of being engulfed.

Be careful, because many heretics of earlier eras made bold to immerse themselves in the fathomless sea of Scripture and drowned spiritually, thus perishing together with as many as followed them. They dont have all the same spiritual maturity. They are not all able to understand the mystery of Holy Scripture.

Holy Scripture is understood and explained in three ways: 1) according to its literal meaning, namely the nominal, grammatical, verbal and historical, 2) allegorically or metaphorically, which is superior to the former, and 3) spiritually. According to the Fathers, the simplest of senses to alight upon is the first meaning, according to the letter of Scripture; to penetrate with discretion to the nature of Scripture requires modest learning, while to explain the depth of the meanings of Scripture is of the highest spiritual advancement and in need of the most divine grace.
~ Elder Cleopa of Romania

(italics added by me for emphasis)

Linchpin of Christian Theology

"What’s wrong with the human race anyway?" What is it about us such that we need saving?

The answer to that question is perhaps the linchpin of Christian theology (at least what has been revealed to us). Among the most central of Orthodox Christians doctrines is that human beings have fallen out of communion with God – we have severed the bond of communion with which we were created and thus we are no longer in communion with the Lord and Giver of Life, we no longer have a share in His Divine Life, but instead have become partakers of death.
This lack of communion with God, this process of death at work in us, manifests itself in a myriad of ways, extending from moral failure, to death and disease itself. It corrupts everything around us – our relationships with other people and our families, our institutions and our best intentions.
Without intervention, the process of death results in the most final form of death – complete alienation and enmity with God.
~ Father Stephen

Easy - Difficult

It is so easy to read and write about Christianity - but it is so difficult to pray.

St Poemen on Evil Thoughts

A brother came to see Abba Poemen and said to him, “Abba, I have many thoughts and they put me in danger.” The old man led him outside and said to him, “Expand your chest and do not breathe in.” He said, “I cannot do that.” Then the old man said to him, “If you cannot do that, no more can you prevent thoughts from arising, but you can resist them.”

~ St Poemen the Great

Church of the Catacombs

I really want to better understand the history of our faith, so I’m going to start writing on Christian history; of this type this is the first post.

Living in a culture where Christianity looks very different and believes very differently from church to church, each of which claims the Bible to be the source for all their positions, and all having their own opinions for why the other is not believing or practicing correctly (even though they each use the same source to formulate these beliefs) - I’m not going to choose a side. The purpose of me writing on Christian history is to search for the belief of the early church.

When I first heard that the earliest official church traced its routes back to only 320 AD I remember thinking this to be a very long time after the death of Christ, enough time for me to justify not giving their “opinions” any more weight then any other church on every other corner. Therefore I (unconsciously) thought that all Christianity must be a matter of personal interpretation, as long as they held to the resurrection of Christ. So you then have Presbyterians who say one thing and Methodists who say another - all believing in the resurrection - all using the Bible to support everything to which they adhere. And you have Pentecostals who look one way and Baptists who look another - all believing in the resurrection - all using the Bible to support everything to which they adhere. Each in argument with the other at worst, or agreeing to disagree at best. But who among them has any authority to declare themselves as thinking and believing correctly? On what grounds could they make such a claim? I find myself asking, why do none of them place any value in their Church Fathers? Why do none place any weight in the history of their faith? No sooner will they dismiss a mention of our Church Fathers will they then proclaim the supreme importance of returning to the Constitution within matters of politics. I speak as one guilty of this.

What I failed to realize long ago when I made my initial judgment on the late arrival of the earliest Church was that Christianity was oppressed and not allowed to exist beforehand. Any gathering in the name of Christ was forced into the caves where they prayed fervently for protection and secrecy, in fear of being burned as torches to lighten Emperor Nero’s lawn for the sake of his own elaborate parties. So in the catacombs they gathered to partake in the Body and Blood of Christ as a community of believers celebrating in the resurrection of Jesus. Not until Constantine’s conversion to Christianity in 312 were Christians now beginning to live safely - not until the fourth century were we allowed to exist.

So the Church began its first “official” formation in the capital of Constantine’s Empire, Rome, shortly after his conversion. However in 324 AD, within only a few short years, Constantine decides to move his capital to the shores of Greece in Byzantium. A major reason for this move was his belief that Rome was too deeply stained with Pagan associations for this young Religion to which he bent his knee to be free of these influences.

One year later in 325 AD Constantine summons a council that took place in Nicaea. The Council of Nicaea would be the first of seven ecumenical councils that were to define the fundamental doctrines of the Christian Church. All appointed Bishops gathered. They were inspired by a very practical purpose – Human Salvation.

I intend to write on each ecumenical council.

On Grief

This week at church we talked about grief; my pastor spoke on the story of Lazarus when Jesus wept over the death of His friend. He talked about the cultural differences between the East and West concerning grief - it was very interesting. He also spoke of an experience of his as a kid at his grandfather’s funeral when he overheard two men talking about golf and the weather while standing directly next to his grandfather’s corpse.

In western culture, of which we're apart, we move past our grief so quickly. I think this is because it is so difficult for us to remain in this place of severe pain, so we often avoid this deep sorrow by directing our minds towards anything where we can find comfort. But with this there are problems - because it’s through our grief that God brings us healing and strength. When we do not observe our grief we leave the door wide open for anger and resentment, and anger and resentment are capable of deep wounds to our soul, so deep that if we don’t seek healing they are often exposed even as we enter our own graves. And our anger and resentment do not only hurt us, they infect others and hurt everyone who we come into contact with; the closer they are with us the deeper it affects them…. and on and on it goes. But the reverse is also true, and this is why it is so vital to seek healing. Because if through our healing we become people of love and peace these too affect all who we come into contact with, and the closer they are with us the deeper it affects them…. and on and on in it goes.

I have never been subject to any huge tragedy in my life. I've been very fortunate. Any death that I have experienced has come at the end of a long life and a good fight, but it's good to understand these things before I need them.